An Intro to Everything Happening for a Reason
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
On paying attention to your gut and following your instincts to achieve what’s truly meant for you.
By Taylor Barbadora
“Hey mama!” my new roommate, Carolina, cheerfully bounded into my room. “You ready to go?”
“Just finishing up my hair, and then I will be ready!” I turned from my brand new, build-it-yourself vanity to reply. I never had a vanity before – the most exciting finishing touch to my California bedroom.
Carolina and I planned to drive into downtown Pacific Beach (PB) to take pictures during the sunset. We both wanted the perfect “I just moved to California” Instagram posts. I was dressed in one of my favorite Ripcurl sweaters and baggy jeans. My hair was pulled halfway up with loose waves falling down my back, and my makeup was light and natural. Feeling most like myself, I was giddy with happiness.
The two of us decided to begin our photoshoot on Crystal Pier. We slowly walked down the pier while taking in all of our surroundings. Every few steps one of us would turn and ask in disbelief, “How do we live here?”
I turned to my left to take a picture of the beach on my phone and a slightly eerie feeling washed over me. I was experiencing deja vu. And, not a minor case either. I had stood in this exact spot five months prior and had taken an identical photo on my phone.
At the time, I didn’t realize that photo would become proof of something bigger – the life I was imagining wasn’t random. It was out there waiting for me.
“I did it,” I thought to myself with a smile.
Though, the literal act of moving from PA to CA wasn’t where my pride came from. It was that I trusted myself enough to chase what I believed would make me happy – no matter how daunting it seemed. It was one of the first times I could remember where I wasn’t asking permission to build the life I wanted.
First Image: Crystal Pier, Sept. 2025
Second Image: Me standing on Crystal Pier 5 months later
Once I decided I was interested in moving from Philadelphia, PA to San Diego, CA, I knew my next step was to go and visit. It was the perfect opportunity for a solo trip – something I wanted to do ever since I studied abroad four years prior, but never did. My goal was to check out a few neighborhoods that seemed like they might be a good fit for me based on my research. I’d spend a full day in each area to truly get a sense of them.
No one was telling me how to plan out this next stage. Up until then, I was anxiously following safe, practical paths that made sense on paper – graduate high school, go to college, get a degree. But, every aspect of this solo trip came entirely from me and was rewarding in a way I never experienced before. It was the first time in a long time I could picture a future that excited me.
My flight landed in San Diego on a sunny and 72° September day. Driving down the I-5 in my silver Kia rental car, I began to take in all of my surroundings. Excited butterflies filled my stomach with each passing palm tree. I felt alive.
During my trip, I intended to explore San Diego’s PB neighborhood for its lifestyle, North Park for its individuality, and Mission Valley and Linda Vista for their accessibility while leaving myself with one free day to explore – my arrival day. I was dying to visit La Jolla Cove and to potentially spot a sea lion.
I started my day with brunch at Duke’s in La Jolla – the mimosa was extra crisp and the tacos were some of the best I’d ever had. Usually, I’d be slightly nervous to sit at a table in a restaurant to have a meal by myself for fear of external judgement. That wasn’t a thought in my mind as the hostess was leading me up to my rooftop table. Now, eating alone is one of my favorite things to do. I’m writing this now, sitting alone with my tahini chicken salad and french fries at a cafe in PB.
After I explored La Jolla’s Coast Walk Trail, it was time for me to head to my Airbnb to check in. It was an adorable guest suite with a bohemian-California feel.
The back porch had a cream hammock hanging from the ceiling, and I decided to embrace the laid-back, California energy by settling into it with a joint in hand. After a few puffs, a familiar, warm feeling consumed me. The sun was positioned at a perfect angle, and I realized in that moment I was at peace. I also noticed how unusual that feeling was to me.
As someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), blissful feelings stand out immediately. I was used to overthinking every decision, anticipating worst-case scenarios, and needing certainty before every move. Yet, here I was in a brand-new city, alone, and my body was feeling safer than it had in years. The palm tree to my right and the lemon tree to my left didn’t hurt either.
I woke up early the next morning and drove to the Tourmaline Surf Park in PB to watch the surfers – one of my all-time favorite hobbies. I sat myself on one of the benches that overlooked the beach, and I pulled my journal out of my bag. A quiet morning to myself while journaling at the beach and watching surfers? It felt like a dream.
“But it doesn’t have to be,” I thought to myself.
Trusting my instincts didn’t answer every question about my future, but it showed me that peace exists outside familiarity. Life gets really good when you begin to live for yourself rather than others.
