In Conversation with Musical Artist Zinadelphia

At the heart of every song, there is a story to be told and an emotion to be felt. Once in a while, there is music that creates feelings so big that they fill you up and eat at your soul until it becomes it. Until all you can feel and focus on is the music, you are stuck chasing that feeling, trying to find what can feed your soul next. As I sit to chat with Hannah McKenney, she tells me about those feelings and the passions in her life so far. We discuss many things, from her life's duality and how she balances what many would call a Hannah Montana lifestyle to the effect spirituality has on her work as a musical artist. We end with a deeper glimpse into her music and new releases and how she wants everyone to have big feelings when listening to her work. 

Hannah is an artist and traveler at heart. She grew up in Pennsylvania, with a seemingly normal life but craved a feeling and a dream that only a few would chase. Zinadelphia is a performer and social media star. She is an alter ego of manifested art and energies. As Hannah dives deeper into the differences between herself and Zinadelphia, she speaks as if she is having an out-of-body experience. She can compartmentalize parts of herself and the being that is Zinadelphia so well it is like she is picking them out of her soul and placing them in neatly wrapped boxes. Growing up going to concerts and chasing a natural high in life, her destiny as a singer seemed inevitable. But the twenty-three-year-old reveals that she wishes to step back from Zinadelphia in the future and one-day complete dreams that were solely Hannah's, such as traveling across country in her 73' Volkswagen Westfalia. 

Hannah's humility and need to create good in the world help bridge the gap between her former self, who still exists, and her highest self, Zinadelphia, creating a beautiful blend of personality. As Hannah continues to explore and grow in the ever-changing landscape of music, she is equipped with a passion for telling stories, being authentic, and never compromising on her dreams. 

So who is Hannah?

Hannah is somebody I grew up with and somebody I've known for a while. It's been nice to have this alter ego thing going on with Zinadelphia. Sometimes I'm just tired of Hannah, and being able to flip a switch and turn into another person when I want to, is nice. Hannah doesn't have as much personality as this Zinadelphia being. Hannah is so suburban, still lives at home, had a typical high school experience and all that stuff, and I feel like she's very in a box. So sometimes I feel more connected to this Zinadelphia being.

Who's Zinadelphia?

Zinnadelphia is a higher self alter ego that I always wanted to be, and it's not entirely there yet, but I don't know; it's just somebody I wanted to turn into. Now I have the opportunity to do that and try something new. I'm still figuring her out. It's nice to go back to Hannah every once in a while and to have a balance between the two of them. But also, I feel like I'm becoming less and less Hannah, which has pros and cons.

Do you feel people know you more as Zinadelphia than they do Hannah?

People I've known my whole life; obviously, it's Hannah, but I think now, there are more people who just know me as Zinadelphia. Which is cool, and that's the direction I want to move in, but it's also scary because they only know this one version of me, and it's not necessarily who I am all the time, which is kind of weird.

Are you ever nervous about losing yourself from Hannah and entirely falling into Zinadelphia?

I'm scared of it, and I also want it. There are so many parts of this Zinadelphia being that I want to be. That's my highest self. It can be like an artist thing, but I also consider it as an alter ego. I want to be, and I could be this person. So in a way, I want to become Zinadelphia fully. But I also want to keep the parts of me (Hannah) that I like in the process. There's a balance that I am trying to find. I am taking my time and going slow rather than just jumping into it because then I could really lose myself and why I started doing what I am doing in the first place, and all that comes from Hannah.

What was your first experience with music?

I think the first one was singing in the shower when I was little. I would always sing Nobody's Perfect by Hannah Montana. That was my go-to shower song. I didn't think anybody could hear me, and then one day, my brother started making fun of me for it, and I was so embarrassed. It was the most embarrassing thing at the time, but I would still do it despite knowing my family could hear me. I didn't realize I was putting in so many hours. I would take such long showers. Even in elementary school, I put so many hours into practicing singing. I have been putting in my 10,000 hours since I was little. But I didn't really know what I was doing. I was just jamming to Hannah Montana.

How would others describe you?

The way my family views me is definitely different than other people. I have so much of an attitude at home, and very assertive. I don't really know how other people would perceive me. I always get 'chill.' I get that a lot. It gets messed up with social media. I totally come off one way online, and then people meet me, and it might not be what they were expecting. I don't know; everything seems way cooler online.

What or who inspires you? 

I think the biggest thing that inspired me was attending concerts when I was young. I feel like everyone has this thing that makes them feel alive. For me, it was concerts. I always remember that feeling. I always leave feeling warm and fuzzy; maybe that's not universal. I've been trying to chase that feeling my whole life, and now I get that when playing and making music. That was my biggest inspiration to pursue music and go down this path. I will never feel as naturally high in any other way besides music. Just seeing some of my favorite artists live was so huge and crazy for me, and now I'm at the level of some of the artists that I saw and would freak out about years ago. It's wild.

So was that always a thought in your head, I want to be on stage, or was it a gradual build-up?

It was a long time coming. I realized that was my dream, but I pushed it aside because I thought it was embarrassing to have this crazy, seemingly unrealistic dream. I thought it was weird, but I guess deep down, I always knew that would be the only thing that would ever be fulfilling. 

What role does spirituality have in your path as an artist and in your music?

I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing at all if it weren't for spirituality. I went through this really bad period for a couple of years, and right at the lowest point is when I started learning about spirituality. Shortly after, I adopted it, started practicing, and switched my mindset. That was when a lot of things began to turn around. But I realized that I've been practicing it all along. I've been manifesting this one big thing my whole life and doing similar practices that I do now; even as a kid, I just didn't understand that it was manifesting. I wouldn't have been able to mentally handle anything going on lately because there are so many highs and lows in my career already if it weren't for my spirituality. And even right now, I'm in a lull. But I can step back and understand that it's working out behind the scenes, and I just need to let go. And view bad situations, as always, a little bit good. I've made mistakes, but I understand now that all my mistakes are supposed to happen, and they are a part of this big plan, and I learned something from them. Even when things are flopping, things aren't doing well online, I don't feel confident, or I feel undeserving, I still can separate myself from it and not be consumed by that because I've adopted this mentality.

This way of thinking and living is something I also want to spread eventually when I can say what I want to say. I want to spread a message. It's important to have a real message if you want to be an artist; if you're going to have a platform, you should say something with it. But I'm still working on myself. I'm trying not to lose my sense of self because getting wrapped up in materialistic things is so easy. That's not why I started doing this. I just started doing it because I like music, not because I wanted to be an influencer or have my opinions heard by everyone. But since I have the opportunity to, I should take it and do good with it. I also understand why it gets blurry for so many people and why they get wrapped up in materialistic things. I'm already seeing that now and trying to separate myself from it.

What keeps you coming back to making music and singing?

I've been thinking about that a lot lately because I sometimes forget now. I can get so wrapped up in always having my phone out, writing only because I want to release new music, or writing for specific reasons. I start to think, am I even doing this for the right reasons anymore? But then I step back and start to make sure I incorporate time where I'm just making music for fun, writing in a journal with no intention of making it into a song, or just playing music for fun and putting my phone in the other room. That's how I got started; I would come home from school and do that for hours and hours, every day for years. It was so much fun. I need that reminder every once in a while that I love doing this because it was my first passion. It's not because it's a job or something. I'm not doing it for money or career purposes. I'm doing it because I love doing it, and I've always loved it, even before I had a phone or social media.

Do you think creativity is a part of human nature and something you're born with, or must it be nurtured and learned?

It's both. It's hard because I see some of the artists that I look up to, and they are so naturally music inclined and creative that it's often hard to watch and understand, and it makes me feel undeserving and not as good. But at the same time, so many creators out there weren't naturally inclined in certain ways and have worked really hard. There is a balance between them. Genetically people are lucky, and some people are just so much more creative and right-brained than others, but it also depends on how you grow up. I feel like I had a combination of both. I don't come from a creative family at all, and I think that fueled me to want to go in that direction because I never had any influence artistically growing up. That, combined with some lucky genetics, made me want to go a different way.

Self-doubt is something that a lot of artists face at times. What has been your experience with that?

That's something that I go through every day. Coming from where I came from, I don't feel like there's anything special about how I grew up. I don't have a story to tell. I don't have any real struggles. I had a great childhood, and sometimes I feel undeserving. Like I have imposter syndrome every single day. Stepping into a room with these insanely cool artists and producers, it feels weird to be there. But I have to remind myself that everyone gets there differently, which doesn't make me less deserving. It's a never-ending feeling, but it also gets easier with time. As I go into more sessions, release more music, and write more, I feel myself improving, so it's becoming easier.

Does what you've been going through ever lead to loneliness? And how do you deal with that feeling?

Sometimes because I get so wrapped up in working every day, I do music Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday and then work my other job at a thrift store Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. So I don't have days off very often. I'm so consumed with work that when I finally realize I haven't texted my friends back, it's been two months, or I haven't seen people in person. I'm lonely, just in the sense of friendship. I've been trying to step back, especially recently, and hang out with friends, do more things, be outside, and take a step back from work. You can lose the magic and all your inspiration if you're working nonstop. What are you supposed to get inspired from? It's something that I'm getting used to, but it's important for me to hang out with my friends, which is so simple, but I forget all the time. Or I'm too tired and need to push myself to see people. I always feel so much better after I hang out with my friends; even if I'm super tired after work or something, I'm always glad I did it.

What has been the biggest struggle you've had to overcome as a musical artist? And how do you feel you surpassed it? And maybe, what are you still working on?

I think it's hard to say what I want to say and be the person I want to be when in high-pressure situations where I'm on stage or people are watching. I just mold myself to the moment or fold and say what they want to hear. That's something I want to work on. 

It's essential to be authentic in your artistry. I think I've been giving myself slack because I am new in the industry. Still, at the same time, I want to be firmer in saying what I want to say and being who I want to be rather than just thinking about it when I'm by myself and then forgetting to do it at the moment because I'm scared that I'm going to say the wrong thing or be the bad person. 

It scares me that if I say or do the wrong things, my fans will not like everything I've been working on then all my hard work will be pointless. I keep giving people what they want, like these pop songs, being this certain way online or in person when sometimes that's just not how I feel. I want to be more authentic. I'm getting better at it. That's just something that takes time, and I am so new that it will have ups and downs. I want to remain authentic and actually myself throughout the whole process.

Now that you have exposure to the music industry, how has that opened your eyes and changed your perspective on music?

The music industry right now is nothing like what I thought it would be or what I was told it would be or saw growing up or was told in school. It changed so much within the past five years that everyone in the music industry is like a virgin. We're all doing it for the first time together. I know just as much as somebody who's been in it for 20 years, which is scary, and I also hate it because it feels so social media focused. It used to be like, you were an artist, and people liked what you were doing, and then they supported you in your career by going to your concerts and buying your music because they liked who you were. But now it's like if you want to start, it's more of a business, and you have to build a brand. I didn't sign up to be an influencer, a social media manager, a marketing person, or anything, but Zinadelphia is like a business. It's turning into an LLC, and that's not what I signed up for. When I made that, I was like this beautiful higher being, my ideal self mixed with this artistry and all this stuff. And it's like a brand, and now I have to work at it. I have to figure out what I want the brand to be. It's such a weird thing, and I don't like that. It's taking away from the actual music, and so many people are starting to make music because they want to be influencers. They want to have a brand and all that stuff. There are not as many authentic people who just want to make music for the right reasons.

It's ruining it for the rest of us because now blowing up on TikTok and having a presence there is associated with the realm of TikTok artists. Like, you're in this box of, like, Charlie and Dixie D’Ameli, Addison Rae, and blah, blah, blah. I don't want to be in that box. It's so frustrating. I have heard strangers say, "Oh, she's this artist I found on TikTok." As soon as I hear those words, I know what conclusion I jump to, and I'm like, "Oh, it's just a TikTok artist." Even when I hear that, I wonder, how good can their music really be? How authentic can they be if they're sitting in front of their phone and saying things like, "This is a song about me; listen to it and give me a follow... etc." I hate doing that and can't force myself to do it to that level. I couldn't even force myself to post on TikTok for a year or two. But I have had to give in so much for the sake of the Zinadelphia brand. 

I met some TikTok artists, and some are genuine and real on there, and you can kind of tell with the way they post on social media; you can tell who's in it for the right reasons and who's not. I've definitely met some people who are not in it for the right reasons while in LA. People have come up to me, and they don't ask me what my name is; they ask for my Instagram handle. And I think that's fucking crazy. It's so fake. They want to see your follower count. Everyone just wants to use each other, but also, at the same time, you don't get anywhere by doing that. You're just building off each other and stuck in this little bubble of TikTok. Some viral moments are nice, but no amazing emerging artists are coming out of that platform because it's so unauthentic and oversaturated. It is frustrating because there are so many people out there doing the same thing as me. So I'm like, how am I going to do this? Before TikTok and stuff, I bet the same amount of people were doing it, but you didn't see that. You weren't comparing yourself. And now I see other people with similar styles as me and are in similar music genres and stuff, and they're blowing up like crazy. Then I start to question what's wrong with me. It's such a weird game.

What does the future look like for you, and how do you feel about it?

The future is what I'm doing right now, in a way. I'm living at my parent's house and working at a thrift store, but I'm so happy, and I've never been happier. I don't want to do that stuff forever and have the same exact lifestyle. I want to change that soon, but I'm still happy, and it's just a bunch of small steps. I'd rather have a really long career and focus on the longevity of it rather than work so hard, have something blow up overnight that's like a one-hit wonder, then I'm done. I'd instead take small steps and have small victories. So I honestly think the way to do it is just doing what I'm doing now and not focus on the numbers. I'm trying to get as much stuff out there as possible and things I'm proud of. I have stuff coming out that I'm not that proud of, but whatever—just a small bump in the road. The future is a lot more of what I'm doing now. It'll slowly grow each time I do it and as I get more experienced.

I also want to step away from this world at least a bit more than I am right now. It's hard because I'm tight on money and trying to figure things out, but I don't want this to consume my whole life. I had all these other plans, and I was doing so much traveling, and that's why I bought my van (73' Volkswagen Westfalia), and that's what I thought I was going to do.

I saw on Instagram you are selling it. Is that true?

Yeah, which sucks because it's such a fun idea, but it just feels like I'm selling this dream. Which I don't have to, but it makes sense for me right now. I don't want to sell one dream for the other dream because I need to find a balance between both of them. It's something I can come back to. But in the next few years, I want to return to a little bit of my lifestyle right before Zinadelphia started taking over my life. Back when I was traveling and not on my phone all the time. But that takes time and money, and if I have to work really hard, deal with being inside, not traveling for non-work purposes, and being on my phone a lot for a year or two. It's worth it to find a balance between doing Zinadelphia things and doing Hannah things.

What is one thing that you wish people understood about you?

I don't need to beg for people to perceive me one way. If I'm begging people to perceive me one way, I'm probably not that way. I don't know. There are plenty of things that people don't understand. They can think what they want to think.

I know you have a lot of unreleased music, so what are you excited about that you have coming up that's going to be released?

I am excited about everything that's coming out in the fall. I have an EP coming out this summer, and I'm proud of this project, but there are so many words on there that I didn't write myself, and it's like a project where I just collaborated with people. This is all music I made last year when I was starting out and doing sessions for the first time, and I felt I couldn't speak up and say no when I didn't like an idea, especially in rooms full of men. 

The summer EP songs are fun and great, but I would never say some of the lines, and I'm kind of embarrassed by them. I'm so proud of the project and to have a body of work out, but in the fall, I have the entire project already written, and I wrote the whole thing by myself. I found people who aren't going to want to change that. I love having an editor, I don't mind them editing my words, but I don't want them to write them with me because who's going to say what I want to say better than me?

There will probably be three singles in the fall and another EP. The EP coming out this summer is five songs, but the one in the fall will probably be seven because it's already written. I've been sitting with some of these songs for years, but I've written some new ones this year. So it's a combination of my writing skills now mixed with stuff that I've been proud of for years. It will be more stylistically and sonically how I like it. But it will never be perfect and exactly where I want it to be, especially not in the second project. It will take a couple of albums to get sonically in my space and stylistically, but I think it will be a step above this first EP.

As you continue, what do you hope your music can evoke within people?

I want it to evoke big feelings. Every song is different and evokes different emotions. Still, I want people to feel big emotions, feel how I feel going to concerts, and feel how I feel going on stage. This insane high. Even if it's a high in a sad song, sometimes you want to feel sad and just want to feel it so hard. I want people to feel and not be afraid to feel whatever the feelings may be. I want them to connect with my music on an emotional level.

Find the complete spread and interview in Duvu Vol I.

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Find Zina on Spotify and Apple Music and on Instagram @zinadelphia.

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